One bright morning in the middle of the night

One bright morning in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't see,

So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,

A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

And came and killed those two dead boys.

A paralyzed donkey walking by,

Kicked the copper in the eye,

Sent him through a rubber wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

(If you don't believe this lie is true,

Ask the blind man – he saw it too!)

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One dark day in the middle of the night,

two dead men got up to fight.

Back to back they faced eachother,

Drew their swords and shot eachother.

If you don't believe the story's true

Ask the blind man, he saw it too!

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1."I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Admission is free, so pay at the door;
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor: 

2.Early this morning, late last night,
Two dead men rose up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot one 'nother. 

3.A stone-deaf sheriff heard the noise,
And came and killed those two dead boys.
The mute psychotic shrieked in fright,
With words of joy at this ghastly sight. 

4.Now if you doubt this lie is true?
Ask the blind man; he saw it, too."

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Ladies and gentlemen, uncles and aunts,
Cockeyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants.
I come here before you to stand behind you
And tell you something I know nothing about.

Next Wednesday, which is Good Friday,
There's a ladies' meeting for men only.
No admission, pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

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One tall midget reached up high,

Touched the ground above the sky,

Tied his loafers, licked his tongue,

And told about the bee he stung.

He painted, then, an oval square

The color of the bald man's hair,

And in the painting you could hear

What's undetected by the ear.

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The common cormorant or shag

Lays eggs inside a paper bag

The reason you will see no doubt

It is to keep the lightning out

But what these unobservant birds

Have failed to notice is that herds

Of wandering bears may come with buns

And steal the bags to hold the crumbs

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A moth ate some words – it seemed to me

strangely weird – when I heard this wonder:

that it had devoured – the song of a man.

A thief in the thickness of night – gloriously mouthed

the source of knowledge – but the thief was not

the least bit wiser – for the words in his mouth.

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This song was originally posted at:
http://bussongs.com/songs/one-fine-day.php